SPEECHLESS!


 

I’m still at lost for words of the news I received this past Sunday, my birthday by the way April 6, 2014. I had a very emotional weekend, better yet an emotional past month and a half. I’ve been working so hard building my blog site and getting a few things in order with my personal life. Over the past 2 years I have been putting myself out there and exposing my talents, I have encountered much adversity and very  little support and all of that plus my work schedule and lack there of was getting the best of me. I almost wanted to give up! but I knew that if I had thrown in the towel I would have lost myself.

 

I sat alone on my special day, shed a few tears and wondered what this year would have in store for me. My sad tears turned into happy shocked tears once I received the news, Shhh!!! I can’t say, but I will say that I am SPEECHLESS!!

I had a lot of time to think about my goals in life and to figure out who has been there with me through this trying but yet amazing point in my life. Don’t get me wrong this journey has been the best thing that has happened to me and I appreciate all those who have shared their knowledge and who has been there to listen to me when I just needed a listening ear. As I get older and a bit wiser I have come to see who is actually for me and who’s against me. I never was one to beg for much and as always if I’m able to do it, I will find a way.

I have been blessed with many gifts, talents and a little knowledge to get me by. The more I work at one craft then BOOM! here comes another creative niche that I never knew I possessed. At times I feel alone because I’m the only the only one cheering and patting myself on the back. I feel forgotten and overlooked especially when I do things for others and when I’m in need they either turn their backs and my concerns fall on deaf ears. Please understand that I don’t do things for people to receive anything in return. I do things because I want to and I believe in the people who ask or even don’t ask me to help them. I guess I give too much and receive so little in return I think I’m running on ‘E’. I can admit I gave a lot to the wrong folks and I gave to some who actually appreciated not only what I had done for them but they appreciated me as a person.

I sat on my front porch and I cried rivers of tears. It was a beautiful day with the Spring breeze blowing, the kids running around playing and I’m sitting alone on my porch whipping my tear-stained face on a blessed day. I cooked my birthday dinner and sipped the rest of my favorite wine and decided to take a nap. As soon as i began to settle I noticed a message on Instagram from  7hrs ago LOL! (Name will be held privately). I jumped back from my phone screen in shock because why would this person of that caliber be contacting me. So of course I immediately responded, but I didn’t know what to say. Now!  I just got finished having a pity party, red eyes stuffy nose, tear-stained cheeks and ready to give up and WOW! and more WOW!

I’m shocked! I still don’t know how to feel or even explain but what I will tell you all is that i have a meeting this Friday and this meeting is one of those ‘One Shot’ deals. It’s either I have what it takes or I don’t, but guess what I’m going for it. At this point in my life I am the only one who can save me. I have been given gifts to be given and shared and I’m going to do just that.  I just can’t believe this is happening to me, I’m shocked and so damn SPEECHLESS!!

 

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