Who would have thought that on one the most rainiest of days it turned out to be one of my best days………
About a month and a half ago I planned for so many things in my life, starting with my personal life and my career goals. Many may not know that I have been struggling and have come against much adversity during this process. In such a short time I went through a lot of changes within myself and with circumstances and situations I have encountered. I found out who was really for me and who was against me. I found out that those who I can truly count on aren’t many, but that’s okay. I rather have a small circle and or a few friends, than a crowd of folk who just want to be around me just for personal gain or other personal motives.
I found myself giving more than I was receiving and slowly I was losing the woman who I’ve found almost two years ago and her name is Miss, LIV
I learned that the more you give the more people will gladly take. In the process of being so ambitious who I am not only as a person but who I am as Miss, LIV was disappearing. I started to focus on too much of what other people wanted from me and I forgot who I was doing this all for and why I was doing it. When I needed help or asked for assistance It was told to me that my concern(s) weren’t important to them and I was dismissed. A few people helped where they could and I appreciated it very much and there where those who either ignored me or just simply told me they couldn’t help when I knew they could. I had everything planned out for my photo shoot, I ordered some beautiful dresses and they failed to arrive, so I had to reschedule the shoot. My last resort was to beat the streets to find a suitable outfit to wear and calling a few friends to see if I could rent a piece or two.
I was investing into myself building my blog site, funding my own projects and gaining clients. All of this had become overwhelming because I was doing it all on my own. I don’t have a supportive team like most stepping into the world of Entertainment. I don’t have friends who support or collaborate with me and that’s okay. Over the past three years I saw with my own eyes who my true friends and family were. I never in my life seen so many people want, want, want but not willing to give anything in return. I’ve never been the one to hold her hand out and when and if I do ask it’s because I really need it or need the help in which ever way one can offer their help. Everything that I have and have gained through out this journey have come from my pocket, my ambition, my hard work and my diligence. So it did hurt me to know that when I asked for help there was none for me and there was none for Miss, LIV.
I don’t have pity party’s and I don’t sulk in my disappointments I have feelings and when your a woman who is alone it’s a hefty weight to carry. There are many who don’t believe in me even when they smile in my face or congratulate me, I know that they’re are not in my corner and that’s okay. I have those who are supposed to be in my life and they know who they are. Sometimes a phone call and or a text means a lot. People don’t realize that the phones work both ways and technology has made it so that it is impossible not to be able to reach someone just to say HELLO!. Giving up is never an option and I refuse to allow a circumstance, people, things etc.. hinder my growth and stop me from my pursuits.
I found her, I found her once again. I thought I lost her in the midst of her diligence, I thought I lost her in her ambition. She the strongest woman I know yet so fragile. I found her, I found her once again. Layer by layer she is becoming she……..
Miss, LIV PhillyBayBEEy
Special thanks to Darren Burton of Darren Burton Photography for being patient and working with me on the shoot. Your an awesome photographer with a great eye and that’s why I chose you. I had such an amazing experience and I felt beautiful.